Venting Feelings, Venting Love
by bogey654
Summary: A songfic showing Tamao's feeling for Nagisa through the anime. A deep look into Tamao and how she plans to deal with her love for her Nagisa-chan.


Hi guys! This is my first Strawberry Panic fanfiction. I watched most of the anime on veoh. I would have watched all, but about five of the episodes there were bad quality with sound ahead of the video! But I watched the important ones, so I know what I'm writing about. I've looked everywhere, but could not find a complete list of the episodes anywhere else, so if anyone can point me to a free streaming website with all the episodes in good quality, let me know!

Now, the story itself. The basic inspiration is from the ending, so spoiler alert. It will show Tamao and her feelings throughout the series. The target of her affection...? The one and only Nagisa-chan! There are lyrics from Noah and the Whale's song, Do What You Do, so this is a songfic, my first. So, after the long A/N, let's get on with it!

**IMPORTANT EDIT! Someone has PM'd me and alerted me that lyrics aren't aloud to be copied and pasted. So I've had to delete the lyrics. The actual story is still there, it just loses some... well, most of it's credibility.**

* * *

We all fall in love at least once. When you do, your heart belongs to that person, whether or not they know it. Perhaps the most strange part is that it is rarely instant. I don't believe in love at first sight. Lust at first sight, definitely. And lust can develop into love, and that is what happened to me.

When I first saw Nagisa-chan, my first thought was "How cute!" My next was "Big breasts..."

I was her guide around school. Well, all three of them, but mostly Miator. As I showed her around, Ètoile decided to put the moves on Nagisa-chan! Nagisa-chan seemed more confused than anything. As we had our little adventures, I began to admire her. She was kind, caring and...something else. I suppose you could say genuine. Once we began our adventures, I think that was the turning point of my lust into love.

What can I say? I love her. It's as simple as that. And all there ever is now is Nagisa-chan in the back of my mind. It was her decision...to a degree. She was on the hook when Ètoile-sama... I mean, Shizuma burst in declaring love for Nagisa-chan, and I pushed her away, because I was worried that she wouldn't be happy with me. She is with Shizuma now, and it's that simple. I love Nagisa-chan, and I gave what I could. But...was I not enough? I should have been better!

We all have flaws, some we develop, others we're born with. I'm at my wits end! I can't think for the life of me how I get over Nagisa-chan...oh...here come the waterworks. This happens a lot. At night, every night, I hug my pillow and pretend it's Nagisa-chan. I kiss it and cuddle it and keep it comfortable and warm...it's all mine! But it's not really Nagisa-chan, and when I realise it won't talk back, I begin to cry at how I'll never hear Nagisa-chan say 'I love you too Tamao-chan!' and at how I'll never get to feel her warm body beside me to comfort me and say it'll be alright. My own love is consuming me...piece by painful piece...

I guess I should just carry on, get a good job, and settle down and have a happy life. As happy as one can be without love. I'll be okay. I'll...survive.

Am I being selfish? Yes. But I won't forget this love. Ever. I will get over it, but I will remember it. No. I will remember Nagisa-chan, and get over the love. Nagisa-chan is not the problem, it is my affections that are the problem, and I will lose them, but never forget. I'll carry on. I'll carry on, Nagisa-chan...

I love my friends, In a different sense than with Nagisa-chan. But they are immature. But...they did and do keep me going. Our late-night tea parties, activities, and too much to mention. So I'll carry on, I'll better myself and live a good life.

I still see Nagisa-chan daily. We are still best friends...for my part at least. We still laugh and hold tea parties. We don't share a bed anymore though. Nagisa-chan...will I be ok?

I sit up after tonight's longing thoughts, and close my eyes. I can almost hear a reply.

Will I be enough? Nagisa-chan? Can I...survive?


End file.
